The What-To-Think Network

God I am so pumped for Vegas!! I leave in less than a week, flight leaves on sunday 4:05 and arrive at McCaren airport at 5:30. I need to be seriously concentrating really hard on something for the thought of Vegas to not pop in my head and take over all other thought, unfortunately it is finals week and I should be concentrating on that. As I am typing this I know that I should be looking over my Research Methods & Statistics notes, considering the test is tomorrow, but I just want to type about Vegas. SO here it is, me typing about Vegas. Isn't that exciting? Not as controversial as the lists of things I have in my room, but oh well.

Ok, so I dont want to study quite yet so I am going to continue talking about Vegas. 

Here is my gameplan for Vegas:  

1. Start my gambling at Blackjack, the point will be to build my bankroll for the rest of the week. I have $600 that I can spend while there, but I would like to get ahead early and never have to dip into my reserves, at least not too much.

2. Use the money from blackjack to start my escapades at the Vegas poker rooms. I will be staying at Imperial Palace, so I will probably be starting there at the low limit tables. Plus, they have a great comp rate (so, if I dont mind playing limit, I might play the majority of my time there) and it is supposed to be a chum bucket, some serious fish from what I hear.

3. Next hit up some of the NL tables, probably excalibur first, maybe MGM later. THough I am kind of hesitant since the competition is supposed to be tougher there. Not sure where else has low stakes NL, I need to check that out.

4. By the end of my stay I would like to try my hand at a tourney or two, probably one at Imperial, even though their stucture is insane, and possibly the Golden Nugget's daily or Alladin.

5. If I have been playing good, top of my game, I mean stellar, like I am playing as good as I am capable of right now, then I will head over to The Rio and enter a WSOP S&G tourney, they cost quite a bit more, so this is only if I'm playing great. But this would be frickin awesome, if I was able to pull that off.

OK, so I will do more than just gamble while down there. I hope to get to every casino on the strip, and a few downtown, and get a deck of cards and a chip from each. they make cheap souvenirs and you can never have too many of either. Oh and can;t forget about drinking and women. GOtta have both of them. I am just overhwelmed thinking of this trip, I am so psyched about it that I am almost depressed in thinking that it can in no way live up to expectations. GOd, I hope it does. Only time will tell though.

Later

Ok, so saturday night a bunch of us got together for a poker game. I started out playing my usual tight play, picked up a couple blinds and a few small pots, but nohting big. Just feeling the table out and picking my spots against overly loose players (Lyric). I got a little short stacked, but this is where to succeed, I found my spot to go all in, had a victim call me(the chip leader) and doubled up with a K straight. From here I cruised. I took control of the table and just manhandled everyone. Needless to say I was the last man standing and took home $25. I felt really good about my play, picked my spots effectively, didn't get caught going to far on pointless bluffs or getting sucked out by a loose player going too far with a bad hand hoping for that miraculous flush.

I was buzzing today from saturday, so I felt pretty good going into the tournament I was entered in, College Poker Championship, on Royal Vegas Poker, even though I hate their software. It was a free roll super satelite for the satelite on May 14th. To make a long story short I placed 1309 out of  2009 entrants. I started out pretty patiently, but had a bad beat and went on tilt, got a little impatient and went all in(roughly $1500) with A-Ks and got called by the chip leader. He had Q-10, paired the Q on the flop and paired 10 on the river. This really pissed me off! I then right away entered used my freeroll into a sit & go level 2 WSOP qualifier. Again, I stayed patient and stayed on my game let about 4 guys get out, but for some reason went on tilt against the chip leader (he had a massive stack) and eneded up out somehow, cant remember the hand.

Thats another thing that really pisses me off, is that Royal Vegas has no fucking hand history!! once I fold there is no way of seeing what I had. That site fucking blows, but they have a lot of cheap tourneys with huge payouts. Cant fucking stand it. I wish Full Tilt would have more tourneys that were cheap and had a pay out for the winner above $30.

So anyway back to my implosion. I then find another freeroll tourney, its a onetime tourney for people who have joined Royal Vegas in the past week, and sign up, but it doesn't start for another 4 hours so I get some time to cool off. I actually do. I get past the first hour of the tourney, no more re-buys, I hate re-buys it all it does is prolong tourneys and invite idiots. At this time I have 4,800 which is a little above the avergae stack but way below some of the high stacks, which were above 10,000 already. The blinds are starting to pick up, I am no means short stacked yet as I was 20X the big blind(200) but I realize I need to pick a spot to be agressive and increase my stack so I have a chance in the end. About half hour later I wake up to K-Qs in late position. I double the blinds who both fold and the previous limpers call. flop comes K-10-K. I action gets checked to me I  bet triple the big blind, UTG folds and MP calls. Turn is blank. I look to trap(probably a mistake) so I try to check-raise, he checks and kills my plan. River is blank. There is nothing that could beat me unless he has the other King (very unlikely) with an ace kicker. Again he checks to me, so I go all in, hoping he'll be suspicios of the turn check and call me thinking I'm trying to buy my way out of a bluff. He does! Perfect! his hand shows A-K!!! I couldn't fucking believe it! So I end up placing #104 out of 227.

It was just unfucking believeable, everything that could go wrong went wrong. At least with the other two tourneys I could recognize spots where I should have played hands different ealier that would have made my situation different. Like in the first tourney I could have knocked out a guy by calling his small all in bet, but I let the first guy to call him go head-to-head, he lost and the guy I should have knocked out ended up going on a huge streak, taking hte chip lead and knocking me out! But, in this last game I played pretty good, found the perfect spot to capitalize and go top ten chipwise and I got sucked out. I felt Like Helmuth against Hoykins last year. Fucking sucks! Three tourneys all were dissapoinments.

Well, hello sir what would you say if I told you that you could see the world of tomorrow today? My word, no I have not had too many of Mr. Grahams Crackers, quite the contrary. I am speaking of the Worlds Fair! Be the first on your block to see the world’s first portable spittoon! Now you can chew and spit tobacco where ever you please, no more back porches for you! Old Glory would be proud to see Yankee innovation at it’s finest.

Is the lady in your life looking more like W.C. Fields than Greta Garbo? This Valentines Day spring for an anti-eating face mask, the very first of it’s kind! No Knickerbocker on the move will want to be without the revolutionary Toilet on the Go! It attaches to the back of ones belt and conveniently pivots underneath your buttocks as you sit, for a quick doing of your unmentionable business at your convenience! Uncle Sam himself would go no where without it!

Don’t you fret ladies the World’s Fair has plenty for you too! Make sure to bring your best apron as you experience THE KITCHEN OF THE FUTURE! Be amazed by the world’s fastest mixer, guaranteed to cut your cake baking in half! Not to be overlooked is the 4 in 1 AMAZO pan, created by scientists that have devoted their lives to making pans! This is no ordinary pan, it fry’s, boils, broils, and scalds. Susan B. Anthony would use no less! Amazed? You should be, but not only that, the worlds foremost expert on how to satisfy your man’s needs, Dr. Archibult J. Tweetermyer, author of The Kitchen is Fun! will be in attendance answering your questions.

   So grab your best gal and the see the best and brightest of the future! Remember Irish use to the backdoor!

Fiction by Brandon Warner, 2/6/2005

I plan on elaborating on a lot of the things said during this third presidential debate, but as I am watching the replay of it right now I got so fucking upset about a flat out lie President Bush said pretty quick into it... I can't sit back and let it go without being commented on right now. So, here goes:

Partial Presidential Debate Transcript:

KERRY: Yes. When the president had an opportunity to capture or kill Osama bin Laden, he took his focus off of them, outsourced the job to Afghan warlords, and Osama bin Laden escaped.

Six months after he said Osama bin Laden must be caught dead or alive, this president was asked, Where is Osama bin Laden? He said, I don't know. I don't really think about him very much. I'm not that concerned.

We need a president who stays deadly focused on the real war on terror.

BUSH: Gosh, I just don't think I ever said I'm not worried about Osama bin Laden. It's kind of one of those exaggerations.

Wrong Asshole!! Exageration, I think not. Want proof here it is!

" I don't know where [bin Laden] is. You know, I just don't spend that much time on him, to be honest with you... I truly am not that concerned about him"

George W. Bush, March 13, 2002

Hmmm.... Not so smug once you are directly caught in one of your lies. You can't even slither out of your lie by saying that he did exagerate the quote, or that it was taken out of context. Wo, wo, wo. hold the phone after I compare the two again it seems you are right President Bush. Kerry quoted you as saying, "I'm not that concerned." while on the otherhand you actually said, "I am truly not that concerned." My mistake, i guess he did (under)exagerate your quote. its not that you aren't concerned with him, its that you TRULY aren't concerned.

So, about a month ago Andy had his 21st birthday and Patty threw a suprise party for him. Here are highlights with lowlifes for the night.

Alfred and I just heard the one about The Pope and Racquel Welch... Those aren't Booeys

Curtis being Curtis

Drunkard

The Birthday Boy

Curtis doing double duty

Group shot towards the end of the night

Slick Willly, always with the smooth talk

Legendary Guard of Kegs

The king of all belt buckles... Curtis looks a bit too intrigued by it, hmmm....

It wouldn't be a party without a little pussy...

Quarters midair

Some people, Phhtt...

Well here is my second official poem I have turned in for Creative Writing, I guess its better than the last one, but I think the journal title still fits.

So enjoy!

4 AM

The musty air,

laden with smoke.

A sea of brown bottles

and plastic red cups,

strewn anywhere and everywhere,

a trashmans nightmare,

a hobos dream.

A brand new couple

on the couch,

they sensually embrace,

their intimacy

knows no bounds.

Tonight,

I love you.

Tomorrow,

do I know you?

The keg,

long cashed,

most partiers,

long gone.

Golden stains,

an eternal memory

of this episode in a series

of one night stands.

The Cool porcelain

has become ones lasting friend,

his face hovering

above the bowl

awaiting the next urge in

bittersweet anticipation.

Knowing each brings him closer

to the end

of this weekly ritual.

This semester I am taking Intro to Creative Writing and while I enjoy it we are currently focusing on Poetry and I fucking hate poetry!! So for the next two to three weeks I am trying to take the tips and exercises we do to help more with my fiction and screen writing, since some of them are kind of universal to writing, but the downside of this is that I have to write, dissect, and fane interest in poetry for the next few weeks. Well, every week we have to turn in a poem that has been expanded and further worked on from an in class one we did the previous class and here is the one I turned in this week. I fuckin' hate Pikeys and I fuckin' hate poetry!!

Enjoy!(doubtful)

Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die

The absent minded masses

Need not recognize

The profoundness of the different,

Not that they need not,

More that they care not.

To appreciate rebels of thought

One must break the idiot mold,

The skullduggery that is needed

No lug can comprehend.

Thus relegating renegades

To the back roads,

The underground,

Labeled as subculture,

Swept under the rug of

Popular American culture.

Why are people magnanimously mesmerized

By the blandness of pop?

The salsa is too spicy,

Please pass the ketchup.

The crème always rises to the top?

Why watch Clerks,

Soul Plane is playing.

The Doors? I think not,

My Ipod contains Creed.

Arrested Development, I could care less,

How about According to Jim?

"The most imprtant thing for us is to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number-one prioirty and we will not rest intil we find him." George W. Bush, September 13, 2001

" I don't know where [bin Laden] is. You know, I just don't spend that mush time on him, to be honest with you... I truly am not that concerned about him" George W. Bush, March 13, 2002

http://www.democrats.org/specialreports/top10_flipflops/

The Bush Record: Top 10 Bush Flip Flops

1. Bush Flip-Flops on Independent 9/11 Commission

Bush Flip: Initially Opposed to Independent 9/11 Commission
Bush opposed an independent inquiry into 9/11, arguing it would duplicate a probe conducted by Congress. In July 2002, his administration issued a "statement of policy" that read "...the Administration would oppose an amendment that would create a new commission to conduct a similar review [to Congress's investigation]." [Statement of Administration Policy, Executive Office of the President, 7/24/02; LA Times, 11/28/02]

Bush Flop: Bush Relented and Appointed Independent Commission
President Bush finally agreed to support an independent investigation into the 9/11 attacks after "the congressional committees unearthed more and more examples of intelligence lapses, the administration reversed its stance." [Los Angeles Times, 11/28/02]

2. Bush Flip-Flops on Independent WMD Commission

Bush Flip: Refuses to Call for Independent Bipartisan Commission on Weapons of Mass Destruction
"President Bush said on January 30, 2004, 'I want to know the facts' about any intelligence failures concerning Saddam Hussein's alleged cache of forbidden weapons but he declined to endorse calls for an independent investigation." [AP, 1/30/04]

Bush Flop: Bush Appoints WMD Investigation Commission
President Bush named a nine-member bipartisan commission to investigate U.S. intelligence-gathering capabilities in February 2004. The AP noted, "Bush had initially opposed a commission, but agreed to do so as calls grew from Republican lawmakers as well as Democrats." The Los Angeles Times reported, "The White House opposed that panel initially, then backed down under pressure, and some say administration officials now regret doing so because the administration has become locked in a series of embarrassing battles with the Sept. 11 commission." The New York Times noted Bush "gave the panel until March 2005, well after the November elections, to submit its conclusions." [NY Times, 2/7/04; LA Times, 2/1/04; AP, 2/6/04]

3. Bush Flip-Flops on Time He'll Spend With 9/11 Commission

Bush Flip: Would Meet For Only One Hour With 9/11 Commission
McClellan: Obviously, as part of this, the President will be meeting with the chairman and vice chairman at some point in the near future. We are still working on the exact time of that meeting. We have discussed with the commission what we believe is a reasonable period of time to provide the chairman and vice chairman with answers to all of their questions.
Q: Is that the one-hour time frame?
McClellan: That's what I'm referring to. [WH Press Briefing, 3/9/04]

Bush Flop: White House Says No Time Limit on President's Testimony
"President George W. Bush will privately answer all questions raised by the federal commission investigating the September 11 attacks, the White House said, suggesting that Bush might allow the interview to extend beyond the one-hour limit originally offered to the panel by the White House. 'He's going to answer all the questions they want to raise,' said the White House spokesman, Scott McClellan, whose remarks suggested that the White House was softening its negotiating stance toward the bipartisan commission. 'Nobody's watching the clock.'" [WH Press Briefing, 3/9/04; International Herald Tribune, 3/11/04]

4. Bush Flip-Flops On Calling For A U.N. Vote On Iraq War

Bush Flip: U.S. Will Seek U.N. Vote For War With Iraq
Bush: ...yes, we'll call for a vote.
Question: No matter what?
Bush: No matter what the whip count is, we're calling for the vote. We want to see people stand up and say what their opinion is about Saddam Hussein and the utility of the United Nations Security Council. And so, you bet. It's time for people to show their cards, let the world know where they stand when it comes to Saddam. [Bush News Conference, 3/6/03, emphasis added]

Bush Flop: Bush Attacked Iraq Without U.N. Vote
Bush "failed to win explicit [security] council approval for the use of force" in Iraq. Two days before bombs began to fall in Iraq, the Bush administration withdrew its resolution from the UN Security Council that would have authorized military force. Bush abandoned his call for a vote after it became clear that the US could muster only four votes in support of force. [Washington Post, 3/21/03; Los Angeles Times, 3/18/03]

5. Bush Flip-Flops on Department Of Homeland Security

Bush Flip: Bush Thought Homeland Security Cabinet Position Was "Just Not Necessary"
In October 2001, White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer said Bush opposed creating Office of Homeland Security position for Ridge. "[T]he president has suggested to members of Congress that they do not need to make this a statutory post, that he [Ridge] does not need Cabinet rank, for example, there does not need to be a Cabinet-level Office of Homeland Security is because there is such overlap among the various agencies, because every agency of the government has security concerns," Fleischer said. [White House Press Briefing, 10/24/01]

Bush Flop: Bush Decides to Support Homeland Security
The New York Times reported, "Bush initially resisted Democratic proposals for a Cabinet-level agency. But once he endorsed it, the president pushed Congress for fast action as it debated such issues as whistle-blower protections, concerns over civil liberties and collective bargaining for department employees."

In remarks to Homeland Security Department employees, Bush claimed credit for supporting the Department: "In just 12 months, under the leadership of your President...you faced the challenges standing up this new Department and you get a -- and a gold star for a job well done." [New York Times, 2/28/03; Bush Remarks at One-Year Anniversary of DHS, 3/2/04]

6. Bush Flip-Flops on Gay Marriage

Bush Flip: It's Up to the States to Decide
In a 2000 presidential primary debate, candidate George W. Bush said gay marriage was a state's issue, saying, "The state can do what they want to do. Don't try to trap me in this state's issue like you're trying to get me into." [Presidential Primary Debate, 2/15/00]

Bush Flop: Bush Supports Constitutional Amendment That Restricts States' Rights
Bush: "If we are to prevent the meaning of marriage from being changed forever, our nation must enact a constitutional amendment to protect marriage in America. Decisive and democratic action is needed, because attempts to redefine marriage in a single state or city could have serious consequences throughout the country." [Bush, 2/24/04]

7. Bush Flip-Flops on Using Military For Nation Building

Bush Flip: Bush Promised Not to Use Military for Nation Building
In a campaign rally in Tennessee, then-Presidential candidate Bush criticized the Clinton administration for using the military in nation-building missions. Bush said, "I'm worried about an opponent who uses nation-building and the military in the same sentence. See, our view of the military is for our military to be properly prepared to fight and win war and, therefore, prevent war from happening in the first place." [Governor George W. Bush, 11/6/00]

Bush Flop: President Used Military for Nation Building in Afghanistan and Iraq
After the removal of the Taliban in Afghanistan, Bush met with soldiers stationed in Afghanistan at the White House and thanked them for their nation building efforts. A senior administration official said, "The administration, with its international partners, is doing something akin to nation-building." The plans for a post war Iraq also included nation building measures and, according to the Baltimore Sun, "Secretary of State Colin L. Powell confirmed...that Bush was considering, among other options, installing a U.S.-led occupation government if Hussein's regime is removed." [Baltimore Sun, 10/19/02]

8. Bush Flip-Flops on Hybrid Automobiles

Bush Flip: Bush Mocked Gore's Tax Credit for Hybrid Cars
"'How many of you own hybrid electric gasoline engine vehicles? If you look under there, you'll see that's one of the criteria necessary to receive tax relief. So when he talks about targeted tax relief that's pretty darn targeted,' Bush told the Arlington Heights rally, drawing laughs." [Chicago Sun-Times, 10/29/00]

Bush Flop: Bush Supported Investing in Hybrid Cars
In his State of the Union speech, Bush said, "Tonight I am proposing $1.2 billion in research funding so that America can lead the world in developing clean, hydrogen-powered automobiles. ... Join me in this important innovation, to make our air significantly cleaner, and our country much less dependent on foreign sources of energy." [White House, "President Delivers 'State of the Union,'" 1/28/03]

9. Bush Flip-Flops on Assault Weapons Ban

Bush Flip: Bush Supports Extending Assault Weapons Ban
Ashcroft: "It is my understanding that the president-elect of the United States has indicated his clear support for extending the assault weapons ban, and I will be pleased to move forward with that position." [Confirmation Hearing, Senate Judiciary Committee, 1/17/01]

Bush Flop: Bush Opposes Extension of Assault Weapons Ban
"The White House is opposing addition of gun show and assault weapons restrictions to a bill shielding firearms makers and dealers from lawsuits, prompting angry complaints from Democrats that President Bush is reneging on earlier support for the two proposals...In a statement [on February 24, 2004], the White House urged passage of the lawsuits measure without amendments that might delay its enactment. 'Any amendment that would delay enactment of the bill beyond this year is unacceptable,' the statement said. Democrats interpreted this as an effort to undermine support for the gun-control measures. 'For the president to say he is for the assault weapons ban but then act against it is a flip-flop if there ever was one,' said Sen. Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.), one of several sponsors of the assault weapons proposal in the Senate." [Washington Post, 2/26/04]

10. Bush Flip-Flops on Steel Tariffs

Bush Flip: Bush Imposes Steel Tariffs
"President Bush on [March 5, 2002] slapped punishing tariffs of 8% to 30% on several types of imported steel in an effort to help the ailing U.S. industry, drawing criticism from American allies and mixed reviews at home. 'An integral part of our commitment to free trade is our commitment to enforcing trade laws to make sure that America's industries and workers compete on a level playing field,' Bush said in a statement issued by the White House." [USA Today, 3/5/02]

Bush Flop: Bush Rescinds Steel Tariffs
"Facing a potential global trade war, President Bush on [December 4, 2003] lifted tariffs he imposed on foreign steel 21 months ago, declaring the U.S. steel industry healthy and ready to compete despite the industry's claim that it needs more time to recover." [Chicago Tribune, 12/5/03]

I know in my previous post entitled A Scary Realization(if you haven't read it please do, http://www.livejournal.com/users/bartman387/10021.html) I said that I wouldn't get on the "why does god let bad things happen to good people" argument because I was sick of it and I was also sick of the cliched rebuttal, but after much more thought on it I now see it as an extremely intriguing argument rather than the cliche it is usually resolved to. I am allowing myself to go back on my word because for one I'm a John Kerry supporter so I'm allowed to flip flop and secondly because I am really interested in seeing if any of my friends especially certain ones that go to certain private colleges that associated with a certain  religion can give me an original and insightful rebuttal that actualy makes sense.

Why does god let evil things happen and I'm not talking about getting laid off or something, because while thats a bad thing to have happen to you I would hardly define it as an evil act, when I say evil I mean letting a three year old get kidnapped, molested and murdered? Why does god let this type of thing happen? It is because god either lets it happen or can not stop it from happening.

Let first focus on the former, as it relates to most peoples answer to this question. If god lets these actions happen that implies that he has the power to stop them, but chooses not to, therefore meaning that this god is an evil god. He has the power to stop evil, chooses not to, but why? Most theists would say that this is because he has a  "greater plan", "works in mysterious ways" or "doesn't interfere with our lives", this however is not a rebuttal, it is an admission that god allowed these evil acts to occur and just further supports that he is an evil god(also lets not forget that he has already admitted to the murdering of every first born egyptian child in his own book). Also, why would he stop interfering in our lives now? He did it all the time in the bible, has he suddenly realized that he should allow us to be free willed people? If so, then why did he not realize this to begin with, is it because he suddenly is not all knowing either?

The other claim is that he cannot control our actions as we are and always were free willed beings, therefore we choose to do these evils, he has othing to do with the actions. However, this is god we are talking about, an entity that was able to give Moses the power to part the red sea,  flood the earth for forty days and forty nights, nevermid the fact he created the entire universe, but suddenly he is unable to stop a Jeffery Dahmer from preying on innocent women? What other powers are commonly associated with god that he suddenly no longer possesses? Either way you look at this argument, as I see it, you are stuck with a seemingly powerless "god" or one that can be described as nothing other than evil.

I know that in this post and my previous god related one I probably come off as huge atheist, but I am not, I am agnostic. The difference you ask? Websters definition of each:

Atheist: one who denies the existence of god.

Agnostic: a person who holds the thought that any ultimate reality (as god) is unknown and probably unknowable; broadly: one who is not committed to believing in the existence or the nonexistence of god or a god.

I am not an atheist because I do not deny that there could be a god, I would tend to say there is probably not a god, but I believe it is an insoluble problem that can neither be proved or disproved. But this is a topic I would like to go into in a future post, so I will not delve any further right now.

I am currently watching the replay of the nights speeches at the Republican National Convention and the only thing I can say about it is, "wow!" I have never heard so much crap in my life. Right now The Govenator is speaking and how this man got to be governor is dumbfounding! I have decided to paste the text from his speech below because some of the stuff he said can;t just be summarized you have to actually read it. My comments are the italicized words

Enjoy!

Thank you.

What a greeting!

This is like winning an Oscar! ...As if I would know! Speaking of acting, one of my movies was called "True Lies." It's what the Democrats should have called their convention.

I thought that was the phrase used to explain away the WMD's??  

My fellow Americans, this is an amazing moment for me. To think that a once scrawny boy from Austria could grow up to become Governor of California and stand in Madison Square Garden to speak on behalf of the President of the United States that is an immigrant's dream. It is the American dream.

I was born in Europe ...and I've traveled all over the world. I can tell you that there is no place, no country, more compassionate more generous more accepting and more welcoming than the United States of America.

As long as I live, I will never forget that day 21 years ago when I raised my hand and took the oath of citizenship.

Do you know how proud I was? I was so proud that I walked around with an American flag around my shoulders all day long.

It's actually disrespectful to drape yourself in the flag 

Tonight, I want to talk about why I'm even more proud to be an American — why I'm proud to be a Republican and why I believe this country is in good hands.

When I was a boy, the Soviets occupied part of Austria. I saw their tanks in the streets. I saw communism with my own eyes. I remember the fear we had when we had to cross into the Soviet sector. Growing up, we were told, "Don't look the soldiers in the eye. Look straight ahead." It was a common belief that Soviet soldiers could take a man out of his own car and ship him off to the Soviet Union as slave labor.

My family didn't have a car — but one day we were in my uncle's car. It was near dark as we came to a Soviet checkpoint. I was a little boy, I wasn't an action hero back then, and I remember how scared I was that the soldiers would pull my father or my uncle out of the car and I'd never see him again. My family and so many others lived in fear of the Soviet boot. Today, the world no longer fears the Soviet Union and it is because of the United States of America!

Woa, woa, woa. I thought you were gonna tell us why you believe in the President, not tell us your fucking life story.

As a kid I saw the socialist country that Austria became after the Soviets left. I love Austria and I love the Austrian people — but I always knew America was the place for me. In school, when the teacher would talk about America, I would daydream about coming here. I would sit for hours watching American movies transfixed by my heroes like John Wayne. Everything about America seemed so big to me so open, so possible.

I finally arrived here in 1968. I had empty pockets, but I was full of dreams. The presidential campaign was in full swing. I remember watching the Nixon and Humphrey presidential race on TV. A friend who spoke German and English, translated for me. I heard Humphrey saying things that sounded like socialism, which is what I had just left. But then I heard Nixon speak. He was talking about free enterprise, getting government off your back, lowering taxes and strengthening the military. Listening to Nixon speak sounded more like a breath of fresh air.

Yeah and Nixon was just a god send for this country, how many illegal activities did he delve into?? Just enough to force him to resign before he could get impeached right?

I said to my friend, "What party is he?" My friend said, "He's a Republican." I said, "Then I am a Republican!" And I've been a Republican ever since! And trust me, in my wife's family, that's no small achievement! I'm proud to belong to the party of Abraham Lincoln, the party of Teddy Roosevelt, the party of Ronald Reagan (news - web sites) and the party of George W. Bush.

Hold on there running man, first off please do not mention honest Abe and the Trustbuster in the same breath as the Gipper and Dubbya. While its true that Roosevelt and Lincoln were Republicans, the platform of the Republican party has changed significantly since then. It's no comparison Lincoln fought the south(which is currently the home front for Republicans) to, on top of numerous other things, free the slaves and keep equal freedoms for all as the constitution states. While todays republicans want a constitutional amendment to BAN gay marriage, they want to bring restriction and hate into the constitution. Oh, one more thing, if Teddy was such a valued republican why was he not nominated as the republican candidate so he had to run under the Bull-Moose party? But, I have digressed, please continue Arnold.

To my fellow immigrants listening tonight, I want you to know how welcome you are in this party. We Republicans admire your ambition. We encourage your dreams. We believe in your future. One thing I learned about America is that if you work hard and play by the rules, this country is truly open to you. You can achieve anything.

Yup, only republicans care about you dirty immigrants. Oh, and whats this about playing by the rules Senor Groper?? Not too mention George W.'s many shady deals and connections with big business.

Everything I have my career my success my family I owe to America. In this country, it doesn't make any difference where you were born. It doesn't make any difference who your parents were. It doesn't make any difference if, like me, you couldn't even speak English until you were in your twenties.

I love America too, we finally agree. 

America gave me opportunities and my immigrant dreams came true. I want other people to get the same chances I did, the same opportunities. And I believe they can. That's why I believe in this country, that's why I believe in this party and that's why I believe in this President.

Phhtt, your speech is halfway over, will you finally tell us why?

Now, many of you out there tonight are "Republican" like me in your hearts and in your beliefs. Maybe you're from Guatemala. Maybe you're from the Philippines. Maybe Europe or the Ivory Coast. Maybe you live in Ohio, Pennsylvania or New Mexico. And maybe just maybe you don't agree with this party on every single issue. I say to you tonight I believe that's not only okay, that's what's great about this country. Here we can respectfully disagree and still be patriotic still be American and still be good Republicans.

Unless you disagree with the war in Iraq, in that case you are called unpatriotic, unamerican, a non supporter of the troops, and obviously a Saddam lover. 

My fellow immigrants, my fellow Americans, how do you know if you are a Republican? I'll tell you how.

You are not only your cousins brother, but also her wife? No, wait thats how to tell if you're from the south. You're a republican if you are rich, or fall into the trap of believing one day you will be rich so all the tax cuts going to the upper 5% will one day benifit you tremendously.

If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not the people to the government...then you are a Republican!

Huh??

 If you believe a person should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group... then you are a Republican!

Wha??

 If you believe your family knows how to spend your money better than the government does... then you are a Republican!

Ok, so stop taxing us all together and if I feel that I want a new road built I might put some money towards, that is if theres any left over after I purchase that 7 disc Police Academy DVD Collectors set. But seriously this is a comment on Bush's continued push for the privatization of Social Security which is just stupid. Want to save SS, how about stop spending the SS and Medicare money on things other than SS and Medicare like a past republican did... what was his name... let me think... Oh yeah it was that bum Reagen, who was more committed to making jokes and building the star wars defense system(another failed Republican concept Bush is trying to bring back) than bringing the economy back around and getting us out of the tremendous debt he lead us into.

If you believe our educational system should be held accountable for the progress of our children ... then you are a Republican!

I know I'm a democrat because I feel you should just throw money at it and not give a shit about what happens. Can't result in anything worse than the horrid resuls of the No Child Left Behind Act.

If you believe this country, not the United Nations (news - web sites), is the best hope of democracy in the world ... then you are a Republican!

No Comment

And, ladies and gentlemen ...if you believe we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism ... then you are a Republican!

I have said this before and I'm sure I'll say it a hundred more times before November 2nd, to say, "We must terminate terrorism" is like saying, "We must terminate jealousy." its a thought, its an idea, its a belief, never will we be able to say, "well we got them all, everyone loves us again." Of course we need to increase our intelligence worldwide and use that to keepour country safe from future attacks like 9/11, but this war on terror is a joke. Bush himself even admitted, in a rare moment of clarity, that "I don’t think you can win" the war on terror. Only to retract it later, like all fucking disingenuous politicians, when public and media outcry became too much.

There is another way you can tell you're a Republican. You have faith in free enterprise, faith in the resourcefulness of the American people ... and faith in the U.S. economy. To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: "Don't be economic girlie men!"

You are yet again quoting a 10 year old Saturday Night Love skit, that was spoofing how you were 10 years before that. Kinda sickening and kinda ridiculous.

The U.S. economy remains the envy of the world. We have the highest economic growth of any of the world's major industrialized nations. Don't you remember the pessimism of 20 years ago when the critics said Japan and Germany were overtaking the U.S.? Ridiculous!

Yes I do, I also remember that it was true! Our economy was shit during the 80's and it didn't finally turn around until Clinton, a democrat, came to office. 

Now they say India and China are overtaking us. Don't you believe it! We may hit a few bumps — but America always moves ahead! That's what Americans do!

You know what, if Bush can finally get us to the point we were job wise when he took office we will be fine. But, despite the fact that Bush has created a bunch of new jobs we are still negative compared to 2001. So I'm not sure if you can really say they are new jobs as much as just replacing jobs that disappeared and are still repacing. Typical unattacked rhetoric.

We move prosperity ahead. We move freedom ahead. We move people ahead. Under President Bush (news - web sites) and Vice President Cheney, America's economy is moving ahead in spite of a recession they inherited and in spite of the attack on our homeland.

Uhh, Thats what I think most people would call a lie. The Commerce Departments Bureua of Economic Analysis has released new figures stating that there may have been no recession at all. The GDP did not fall for three consecutive quarters on 2001 as previously thought and actually did not decline consecutively at all. They then go onto say that if you are to call it a recession it started in March of 2001, two months after Bush took office. Maybe this is one of those True Lies Arnold previously spoke of.

Now, the other party says there are two Americas. Don't believe that either. I've visited our troops in Iraq (news - web sites), Kuwait, Bosnia, Germany and all over the world. I've visited our troops in California, where they train before they go overseas. And I've visited our military hospitals. And I can tell you this: Our young men and women in uniform do not believe there are two Americas!

I guess its your point of view, but if you look at the numbers and look at what is going on in the country I would say its hard to say that the country isn't the most divided it's been since the Vietnam era. I guess my glass is half empty.

They believe we are one America and they are fighting for it! We are one America — and President Bush is defending it with all his heart and soul!

That's what I admire most about the President. He's a man of perseverance.

He's a man of inner strength. He is a leader who doesn't flinch, doesn't waiver, does not back down.

Show me a man who never waivers and I'll show you a man who is too stupid, ignorant, and proud to admit when he is wrong and apologize for the mistakes he made.

My fellow Americans, make no mistake about it terrorism is more insidious than communism, because it yearns to destroy not just the individual, but the entire international order. The President didn't go into Iraq because the polls told him it was popular. As a matter of fact, the polls said just the opposite. But leadership isn't about polls. It's about making decisions you think are right and then standing behind those decisions. That's why America is safer with George W. Bush as President.

By no means does popular mean right, but when you are the absoltely only one saying its right, you gotta take an extra second to think, "hmmm, maybe this isn't the best course of action." This so called leadership, where was it the hours following the attacks of 9/11?? Was it in Washington showing us what a strong leader does? Was it showing strength too the other residents of D.C. showing that if you have to brave the trying times I will as well. No, he was flying god knows where and Cheney was hidden in the batcave I think. The point is that in the most turbulent and mind numblingly crazy times he did not show strong leadership, anyone can appear strong (which he did not) giving a speech from a bunker 6 miles under the earth, but it takes a real man with real strength and courage to fly back to D.C., back to the Whitehouse and show America and the terrorists what you are made of.

He knows you don't reason with terrorists. You defeat them. He knows you can't reason with people blinded by hate. They hate the power of the individual. They hate the progress of women. They hate the religious freedom of others. They hate the liberating breeze of democracy. But ladies and gentlemen, their hate is no match for America's decency.

Are you talking about the kind of hate Bush has for gays and their right to marriage?

We're the America that sends out Peace Corps volunteers to teach village children. We're the America that sends out missionaries and doctors to raise up the poor and the sick. We're the America that gives more than any other country, to fight aids in Africa and the developing world. And we're the America that fights not for imperialism but for human rights and democracy.

Disclaimer: Rights may not be found in Abu Ghraib or Guantanamo Bay 

You know, when the Germans brought down the Berlin Wall, America's determination helped wield the sledgehammers. When that lone, young Chinese man stood in front of those tanks in Tiananmen Square, America's hopes stood with him. And when Nelson Mandela smiled in election victory after all those years in prison, America celebrated, too.

We are still the lamp lighting the world especially for those who struggle. No matter in what labor camp, they slave no matter in what injustice they're trapped — they hear our call ... they see our light ... and they feel the pull of our freedom. They come here as I did because they believe. They believe in us.

 And if they dont see us We'll make them see us when we blow up their neighbors house they can have democracy forced down their throats.

They come because their hearts say to them, as mine did, "If only I can get to America." Someone once wrote — "There are those who say that freedom is nothing but a dream." They are right. It's the American dream.

Damn Straight! 

No matter the nationality, no matter the religion, no matter the ethnic background, America brings out the best in people. And as Governor of the great state of California — I see the best in Americans every day ... our police, our firefighters our nurses, doctors and teachers, our parents.

And what about the extraordinary men and women who have volunteered to fight for the United States of America! I have such great respect for them and their heroic families.

Let me tell you about the sacrifice and commitment I've seen firsthand. In one of the military hospitals I visited, I met a young guy who was in bad shape. He'd lost a leg had a hole in his stomach ... his shoulder had been shot through.

I could tell there was no way he could ever return to combat. But when I asked him, "When do you think you'll get out of the hospital?" He said, "Sir, in three weeks." And do you know what he said to me then? He said he was going to get a new leg ... and get some therapy ... and then he was going back to Iraq to serve alongside his buddies! He grinned at me and said, "Arnold ... I'll be back!"

Yeah, that never happened! 

Ladies and gentlemen, America is back! Back from the attack on our homeland — back from the attack on our economy, back from the attack on our way of life. We're back because of the perseverance, character and leadership of the 43rd President of the United States, George W. Bush.

Okay, when he says "back from the attack on our way of life" he is obviously making light of the claim that we were attacked because the terrorists hate our freedom. If this was true the Netherlands would be a hole the in the ground by now. I think the more logical reason for us being attacked was our support of Israel, wanna know why? BECAUSE OSAMA TOLD US SO!! 

My fellow Americans ...I want you to know that I believe with all my heart that America remains "the great idea" that inspires the world. It's a privilege to be born here. It's an honor to become a citizen here. It's a gift to raise your family here to vote here and to live here.

Our president, George W. Bush, has worked hard to protect and preserve the American dream for all of us. That's why I say ... send him back to Washington for four more years!

That should read send him back to Texas, the rest of the country doesn't need him. 

Thank you, America — and God bless you all!

Well The Rubes Summer hockey season has ended, we lost our playoff game today 4-0 despite the fact that during the last 3 1/2 minutes we had a 6 on 3 advantage(we pulled the goalie and they had 2 majors for fighting),  we just couldn't get anything through the net.

Team stats: 4-6 regular season, 0-1 postseason

Grade: C+

Comments: We could have done much better, but we also could have done much worse. We had some problems getting lines that worked well together offensively and almost every game we had one of our regulars out and a sub in. So because of that it can be hard to get some fluidity going between players, also some games we were short as many as 2 or 3 guys and when a majority of your players are a bit out of shape that can hurt ya bad. So, all in all I think we did about average for the situations we were out in.

Personal Stats: 3 Goals, 3 assists, 10 games played regular season; 0 Goals, 0 Assists, 1 game played postseason

Grade: C

Comments: I'm a little disappointed in my play, but I also think I came in with a little too lofty expectations for myself. I didn't realize how much positioning skill I lost over the past couple of years and how utterly out of shape I was. Not too mention that I had no aim on my shot, I was off target almost the whole season, I only finally got it back this last game. There were some upsides, I still can deke out a goalie like no ones business and can work in front of the net like a pro. I am hoping to drop 10 pounds for next session (Fall season starts Sept. 12) and either bike or rollerblade everyday to get in slightly better shape. I would have had at least 2 more goals off breakaways, but a defensemen would catch up to me because I was out of gas. All things considered I did ok, wasn't one of the best players on the team, but I definitley wasn't one of the worst either. I was the common man this season, the lousiest of the best and the best of the lousiest. Next season I should have 10 points.

Here is a picture from our last regular season game against the Vipers, I am 8 on the very left side of the picture. I believe this was right before I scored top shelf on the goalie, but I'm not sure.

Also check out our team site here: http://www.gopherpucklive.com/MsgBrd/Rubes.php

Cliche Of The Day

These colors do not run!